Not so deep thoughts
Ok. On a slight break from the normally serious tone of this blog, two ultra short stories for your reading pleasure.
Read 'em and laugh.1) "Chasing the flush" - Many years ago, a friend of mine was taking a leak in the bathroom. I heard the toilet flush, waited a second and nudged the door open as I walked in to take my turn. To my surprise, there he was with his pants still around his ankles ... still pissing in to the toilet bowl.
"Dude, what the heck are you doing?" ...
"Oh, I've done this since I was a kid. My dad used to pee like this." ...
"Like what? I mean, you do know that you are supposed to flush AFTER you piss, right?" ...
"Yeah, but there is this fun little game I like to play. If you time it just right, you can chase the flush and finish peeing precisely at the same time that the flush is done swirling and exiting the bowl. You should try it sometime. It keeps it interesting, ya know?" ...
"Man, you are a fool. Get the heck out of here. I gotta' take a leak."
He doesn't know it, but to this day, I chase the flush.
And yes, its fun.
2) "Fresh Baked Bread" - I have to give props right up front to my mom's husband for this one. We were packed in to his car one day driving around the OC. We had just finished eating and were headed to an electronics store for something. As we were driving along, my mom's husband says,
"You guys smell that? It smells just like fresh baked bread!" ...
(*100% uncontrollably, like a reflex, we all start inhaling and sniffing, excited about savoring the scent of "fresh baked bread"*) ...
"Oh man!!! That is NASTY! You are a freakin' punk!" ...
(*Then a frantic scramble to roll down the windows. We are all nearly made sick to our stomachs as we find that he has all the windows on LOCK!)...
Since then, I've used 'Fresh Baked Cookies' (just to keep it interesting, ya know?) and it works equally well.
You heard about it here first, folks! Spread the word!
Read 'em and laugh.1) "Chasing the flush" - Many years ago, a friend of mine was taking a leak in the bathroom. I heard the toilet flush, waited a second and nudged the door open as I walked in to take my turn. To my surprise, there he was with his pants still around his ankles ... still pissing in to the toilet bowl.
"Dude, what the heck are you doing?" ...
"Oh, I've done this since I was a kid. My dad used to pee like this." ...
"Like what? I mean, you do know that you are supposed to flush AFTER you piss, right?" ...
"Yeah, but there is this fun little game I like to play. If you time it just right, you can chase the flush and finish peeing precisely at the same time that the flush is done swirling and exiting the bowl. You should try it sometime. It keeps it interesting, ya know?" ...
"Man, you are a fool. Get the heck out of here. I gotta' take a leak."
He doesn't know it, but to this day, I chase the flush.
And yes, its fun.
2) "Fresh Baked Bread" - I have to give props right up front to my mom's husband for this one. We were packed in to his car one day driving around the OC. We had just finished eating and were headed to an electronics store for something. As we were driving along, my mom's husband says,
"You guys smell that? It smells just like fresh baked bread!" ...
(*100% uncontrollably, like a reflex, we all start inhaling and sniffing, excited about savoring the scent of "fresh baked bread"*) ...
"Oh man!!! That is NASTY! You are a freakin' punk!" ...
(*Then a frantic scramble to roll down the windows. We are all nearly made sick to our stomachs as we find that he has all the windows on LOCK!)...
Since then, I've used 'Fresh Baked Cookies' (just to keep it interesting, ya know?) and it works equally well.
You heard about it here first, folks! Spread the word!
posted by Miroslav at 1:06 AM
1 Comments:
LOL on both of those stories!
What is surprising to me is that nearly everytime we pass that "bakery" I STILL fall for it, inhaling and sniffing my way to nausea. He is a punk!
Miro, you've been more mature than your years for a long, long time. But that you are sharing 2 out of 2 stories about peeing and pooing - already?! Well, that's what us old farts talk about...
Slow down; reclaim your youth.
I love you. Now I'm off to the gym.
Momma
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