Getting around to it

Sheesh. Almost a whole WEEK with no posts. I suck.

Sorry. Here is my make up effort.

So you have something to say now?1) You simply cannot get more bang for your buck (when it comes to the grease department) than '2 Tacos for $1' and a side order of Bacon Cheddar Potato Wedges at Jack In The Box. $3.32 worth of pure goodness. *drool* The bad news is that I have one just one block away from my new office. This discovery may not bode well for my weight loss effort.


2) There are some really stupid people in this world of ours. What else explains this warning that I read while pumping GASOLINE in to my G35 recently?

** "Never Siphon by Mouth." ** ... ??!!!!

3) I have this horrible new habit of working on poems when I don't have the ability to write them down. I'll be kickin' it in the bath, or laying in bed, or on hold on the phone and I will start working my way through a thought that I want to turn in to a poem. Each time I get some really good stuff and swear that there is no way that I could forget such a deeply meaninful phrase or thought... but of course, in the end, I do. Then I feel like I've wasted my creative juices and any ambition to sit down and write stuff is gone. BAH. Gotta' stop that. And I gotta' blog more often.

4) Medium length story of an event that was a lot funnier than I will be able to communicate here, but who cares... I'm telling the story anyways:

So... a while back, Janice and I were treated to a trip to Napa by my District Manager for hitting some sales goals. Joining us on the trip was a friend of mine(another insurance agent) whom I shall call Kingsley (for his short stature and um, baldness) and his wife. Kingsley and I have just started getting to know one another over the past year or so and we tend to gravitate towards one another at all the company events. On this trip we found ourselves in the beautiful wine country that is the Napa Valley. Funny thing ... as we talked, we discovered that neither Kingsley or myself, or our wives, cared for wine. As a matter of fact, we all hated it! But with that said, we were all still very much looking forward to cashing in on a coupon for a "Complimentary bottle of wine" from XYZ local vinyard that was given to us upon checking in to our hotel.

Kingsley had a map of the area and took great pride in letting us all know that he had located the winery on the map. We jumped in my car and headed out. As we got closer, he spoke up, "Here! Here! Turn in to this driveway..." ... I followed his instructions as he was the navigator, but something about our destination looked odd. Why did this winery have a dirt road for an entrance? And why were there ZERO cars in its small parking lot? We figured that they were simply a smaller establishment and that their lack of customers was part of the reason they were giving away bottles of wine... and with that idea in mind, we headed in.

Being the only people in the place, we were spotted right away by the sales person who invited us to take a look around. Kingsley and his wife started looking at each of the bottles of wine displayed with "MmmHmmmm"s and "AhhhHaaa"s acting as though they knew about what they were looking at, or were at least INTERESTED. My wife stayed near the entrance and also tried to make herself look occupied. It dawned on me that all of us felt a bit awkward walking in to this winery having no interest in their product beyond the FREE bottle we had been promised. Plus, who likes using coupons? I hate it. I always feel like such a cheapskate when I go to present it, ya know? Even when I PAY for the coupon with those Entertainment Books I always feel a bit awkward.

So... in an effort to cut to the chase and free my friends from having to pretend to be interested in the wine, I blurted out, "Well... I'll just come out and say it. We've come for the free bottle of wine!" ... I proudly (as best as I could fake it) pulled the coupon from my pocket and slammed it on the counter, shoving it towards the salesperson with a big fake smile on my face. "Hmmm...." she said as she picked up the coupon to study it more carefully.

It was at this point that I got that nauseous feeling in my stomach. Have you ever presented a coupon only to hear that it isn't valid on the sixth Thursday following an eclipse or something stupid like that...? That dang fine print will kill you. Yeah, well... thats what this was feeling like, but worse.

"I am sorry to tell you sir, but this coupon is not for our winery."

It was then that I heard the words in my head, "Kingsley must die."

Out of my mouth... "Uh huh. Well then.... that is a bit embarassing isn't it? ... Um... I guess I should thank my NAVIGATOR at this point for leading us here and um... " I turned around to find a look of utter shock and embarassment on everybody else's face too, so at least I didn't feel alone. But I was the lead guy, so I think it hurt a little worse.

Anyhow, the salesperson was nice enough about it... even gave each of us a free sampling. Being that we all HATE wine, were not too happy about drinking the stuff, but at that point we had to grin and bare it just to try to save face. We ended up buying two bottles each. It was a charity purchase. Bah. And all of this was BEFORE we started drinking.

Lesson learned: don't let Kingsley navigate.