It feels good
Oh how good it feels to have conversation free of expectation or limitation or fear or guilt. Just to be True, Honest, and Deep. It takes a lot of guts you know. And it takes a trustworthy audience.
Intriguing... I want to know more!My wife and I enjoyed a great night out on the town with some lovely friends. I exposed just about every dark crevice in my heart to them. Shared the type of stuff that my wife and I talk about at 2am. I wonder how this will affect our future interactions with one another. But, you know what ... I am happy to have been honest and entirely open with them. Let the chips fall where they may, I say. (Probably in part because of the three Long Islands I had.) hehe...
We discussed just about everything under the sun... God, faith, sex, faithfulness, child sacrifice, church drama, you name it. From 6:30pm to 11:00pm we talked, ate, and laughed. The waitress kept hitting on me trying to get a bigger tip out of us. She would scrunch up her nose every time she came around the table. hehe... silly girl. That may have worked back twenty years ago in the I Dream Of Jeannie days, but not now. Everybody kept teasing me because I was the only one drinking and I kept talking really loudly... loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear.
Good times. Good times.
One of the subjects we talked about was the strange conflict of desire that exists inside of me. For as good a time as we had, the reality remains that I am still quite a conflicted person. In an attempt to decribe how I was feeling inside I referenced a song by Elton John (of all people). For those of you not familiar, here it is. If you can't relate to the sentiment expressed...
Be glad of it.
I Want Love by Elton John
I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic
So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough
Intriguing... I want to know more!My wife and I enjoyed a great night out on the town with some lovely friends. I exposed just about every dark crevice in my heart to them. Shared the type of stuff that my wife and I talk about at 2am. I wonder how this will affect our future interactions with one another. But, you know what ... I am happy to have been honest and entirely open with them. Let the chips fall where they may, I say. (Probably in part because of the three Long Islands I had.) hehe...
We discussed just about everything under the sun... God, faith, sex, faithfulness, child sacrifice, church drama, you name it. From 6:30pm to 11:00pm we talked, ate, and laughed. The waitress kept hitting on me trying to get a bigger tip out of us. She would scrunch up her nose every time she came around the table. hehe... silly girl. That may have worked back twenty years ago in the I Dream Of Jeannie days, but not now. Everybody kept teasing me because I was the only one drinking and I kept talking really loudly... loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear.
Good times. Good times.
One of the subjects we talked about was the strange conflict of desire that exists inside of me. For as good a time as we had, the reality remains that I am still quite a conflicted person. In an attempt to decribe how I was feeling inside I referenced a song by Elton John (of all people). For those of you not familiar, here it is. If you can't relate to the sentiment expressed...
Be glad of it.
I Want Love by Elton John
I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart
But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love, that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love
I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic
So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough
posted by Miroslav at 12:05 AM
2 Comments:
I think those conversations are always the best ones because they bring out real emotion! Most people are to afraid to even bring up most topics listed in your blog because they dont want to be "politically incorrect", or they don't want to offend someone who may share a different belief.. I personally say SO WHAT! Speak your mind (:
Obviously 3 long islands would help anyone loosen up to speak freely about this stuff!
In love, this is what the Lord reminds me of whenever I feel so dry, and I continually get parched, its an area I've searched for deeply, and only found it in one place so far, not even in my man; Jeremiah 17:10 "Thus says the Lord; Cursed is the man who trust in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited.
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But it's leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperatly wicked; Who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." I use this to check where my eyes are, hope it blesses you, as it does me-faithful are the wounds of a friend but deceitful are the kisses of the enemy. You've been a friend to me, maybe the Lord will use me to be one in return.
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